The Circus of Social Life

Good connections speak for themselves. Simply pay attention to the energy and it will be so easy to discern what is for you and what ain’t. I’m a sucker for good connections.

But as I’m growing old, I sometimes pay attention to social patterns. In simple lingo, have you watched children play? There is always the one that calls the shots, right?! Lol, if she done left the game then everyone else follows… Hahaha perhaps you was the kid back in the day.

So, anyway what happens is that of course there will always be one kid who doesn’t entirely fit in. And its okay not to; Don’t push them to fit-in. Encourage their individuality.

At a particular point the misfit will outgrow always struggling to be seen and having to negotiate for terms to always favor them. So what they do is literally fall out from the pack and go create one where they get to lead. Its in our nature to want to feel in control at some point. This particular approach happens both with adults and animals too.

It takes a minute to internalize everything that happens in a social circle. But one thing that always stands out is Privilege. The alphas will always feel privileged so they always tend to control the non-privilidged to always stand on the line for them. So 50% of the times in a social circle, there is a follower who can’t quite explain why they are in the circle in the first place and why they are so defensive bout it.

However, when they start putting pieces together….. they get the answers and sort of choose to set a table for themselves where others can sit.

To be quite honest, I’m not judging depending on whether you are the lead or the follower. I have been a follower at some point. Its all part of the journey. But, one thing that I will give you for free is that it feels good to not be either.

Ever wondered why most people say they work hard to avoid poverty? Because, when you’re in that state, its so easy for people to own you. So, yes they could be working hard to get the money but the underlying principle is that they don’t want to be owned. They want to exercise their free will.

So, if you don’t belong to either parties, the leads or the followers then you get to decide for yourself without having to necessarily explain yourself every time.

The circus of social life is that you are going to get caught up in it all. You’ll ride on the wave for as long as your soul can stand. However, when your soul is summoned to come back home to self, you’ll be required to choose between your sanity or playing either team. It will definitely feel like a battlefield within as you are making the decision but it will be worth it.

May the universe, bring more opportunities that teach you on discernment, assertiveness and choosing your sanity beyond the social circus.

Sending you so much Love and Light, Nelly. Thank you for stopping by 🙂

A happy one to you; Resolutions anyone?

Happy monday and a fruitful 2021 my beautiful people. I hope you’re all keeping safe and warm.

As i sit here contemplating whether to make a bowl of fermented uji to warm me up, my journal lays bear on my table. I’ve been out of touch with my craft and some days it worries me silly and others I ignore it all.

2020 was quite a mouthful and I couldn’t keep up with pretty much everything. And it was acceptable tbh. We had only one primary responsibility, surviving and I applaud you for coming this far despite 90% of it being horror-like.

I applaud you for the many times you showed up for yourself even when your soul and body felt weary.

I’ve been wondering what it would have been like if I stuck around. If I chose to juggle everything through it all, I’d probably be burnt out silly and my mental would be all over the place.

But truth be told, writing is a good way to maintain my sanity and every time I lose the touch, it worries me if I’m okay .

I know, you too have things that you love doing. Things that keep your soul alive and when you lose touch with them, it kills you a little inside. We tend to disguise it with the ‘adulting’ phrase a lot and it’s okay, we needed to ride heavy on the phrase in 2020.

Good thing is, in the many years that my soul has strayed away from home and I’ve lost touch with self, one lesson has always echoed. It’s never too late to come home to self. It should never be.

….and one morning when you’re going about this adulting thing, little sparks will reignite the fire and you’ll slowly find your way home.

It could be a long shot, but you’ll get home eventually. Cheer yourself on through the distractions that come along the way. You’ll get there eventually.

That said, I think I’m ready to journal my soul away. Page one reads , Resolutions.

Ha! What Resolutions though, 2020 sort of killed the art of resolutions. So I won’t be making a list today. I’ll just choose a phrase that will guide me for the better part of the year.

We did show up for ourselves. We did position ourselves for opportunities but this year I, ( we), need to work on the art of keeping at it .

I don’t really know how I’ll go about it but I’ll keep you guys posted along the way and probably write short stories of why I chose this mantra.

May the spirit of keeping at it be with us. Love and Light, always, Nelly♥️.

Ay! Ola!

The ease of humankind to conform is beyond perplexing. It’s how we belittle ourselves while trying to align our energy to conforming that makes us fit ourselves in suffocating spaces.

It’s been with us for such a long time. Generations to generations. Reason why it will always be so uncomfortable to break a habit. Some days, you’ll go to war with self trying to understand the logic that is so bear yet your soul is blinded.

…: and in a society where you have to look at generational habits to measure and prove your worth… you just might beat yourself down to death.

It’s a cold Saturday morning, and my grey mug is calling, some hot chocolate will do.  25 years ago, I’d probably watched someone very close to me in the predicament that I’m in 

…..and for years I always asked how could you put yourself through this… 

You know the ‘why’ is so easy to toss around without caring much about the depth of the answer or how hard it is for someone to actually admit that it was their doing.

It is how we constantly shy away from speaking up because we were conditioned to conform. 

It is how they will convince you that you’re wrong for wanting a path so different from theirs.

….and the last solid truth about this short, ambiguous story is that you allowed it at some point. You conformed and it’s now slowly getting out of hand.  I’mma need y’all to boss up past that discomfort.

Love and Light, Nelly

The Magic Rule of 21

Howdy my beautiful people. Its been a minute and this is my little way of saying that I’m back. Today, I’ll be sharing a very short piece on self-discipline. I’ve been putting in the work to come back home to myself and it starts with self-discipline. Enjoy.

I have been really struggling with discipline. Like it’s one thing to pen down my goals and another to get them done. I lack discipline because I don’t attach precise deadlines to my goals. I lack to give self, enough positive pressure to accomplish my goals.

And in all fairness, we can say that it takes some time to align your mind with a new change. But really, have you thought about how you show up to work on or before time, consistently? Why your tummy rumbles a little when you go past the usual eating time without a meal?

It’s simple, you slowly conditioned your mind into that state of discipline. It was a ritual that you conditioned you mind to, a specific time or day.

The magic rule of 21 is meant to rectify a bad habit by ensuring an individual focuses their energy on a new positive habit such that the old bad habit easily slips away. So you repeat the good habit for 21 days continuously. I started mine off by ensuring that I make it to fix myself meals everyday for a straight 21 days. Why food? Because, My sanity revolves around how I treat my body.

And here is the thing about life, some days you will feel like you are winging it, the next, you are literally struggling to get out of bed. And it is okay. Go easy on yourself. The process of reinstating you back to your magic is slow but sure. But make sure you hold on to things that make you feel like you are slowly coming back home to yourself. That is how you celebrate your small wins. Always show up for yourself, ay?!

Sending so much love and light as always, Nelly.


Let’s talk insecurities

To some, insecurities are interpreted as being over-sensitive.
To some, insecurities are interpreted as shadows of the scars that you’re yet to get past.
I interpret insecurities as my inner demons.
They’re things that I really want to get past but I’m constantly running away from.
They’re things that make me rethink my decisions.
They’re the things that make me shift a certain way in fear at the thought of their recurrence.

Time has taught me that I have been part of nurturing my insecurities. I actually feed these demons only for them to overpower my functionality at some point.

Forgiving myself for letting the insecurities exist is a thing that I still struggle with to date.

It’s the struggling ‘its okay moments’ that I say to myself every minute I succumb to my insecurities.

Some are too heavy to get past, some we ace one day at a time.

Today as I sit to write this to you, one of my insecurities is literally thriving. I couldn’t breathe at some point at the thought of it.

It scares the living hell out of me to go down the same path with an open mind. Break it down to me how I should sit still waiting to be bitten over and over by the same snake to achieve an open mind? I’m scared at the thought that I haven’t gotten past some parts of my toxic self. Like really terrified.

When today’s scenario played out and I watched my demons come to play, I must admit that it confirmed that there are triggers to insecurities. They danced for quite sometime in my head and I admit to have gotten lost in the rhythm because it can be addictive sometimes.

In a room full of hearty laughs and merry, I sat in discomfort. I struggled to put myself together. I got carried away by the fear and for a minute I could have sworn I drowned in it all.

But do you know what else your inner demons are capable of? They’re capable of holding your hand. Only that you have to be keen enough to not miss out on the cue when they’re stretching their arms to carry you out of the misery. It brought home a voice of reason amidst the chaos and in no time, I could hear the hearty and loud laughter in the room again. I was back to reality. I had to make a decision of whether to continue drowning or taking a breather.

I decided to take up this battle some other time when I’m strong enough for it. I decided to let my demons sit at my table today. They tell me there’s a lot to learn and I must be willing to keep an open mind.

I think part of doing this adulting thing is accepting that some days you’ll have to dance with your demons. Other days you sit still as they torture you only to bounce back slightly before they finish you off..

Some days we sit and listen to them and others we simply choose to try again tommorow.

Love and Light, always, Nelly ❣️

The Art of Catching Yourself

Howdy my beautiful people. I hope you are holding up fine and going easy on yourselves. I feel like I haven’t written to you in a minute but I’m here today and I’m quite excited about this small piece that I sat down to write you. Take a mental stroll with me 🙂

When I think about the art of catching ourselves, it’s not something that you wake up one day to have perfected. It is a series of sitting in silence alone after all the pillars of support have been withdrawn. It is adjusting to the discomfort of what you dread most. That for me, would be the voices in my head that tend to kick in when I feel like I should have done better. But before we get into it, What exactly does catching ourselves mean?

You know how our learned friends say, ‘When it rains, it sure does pour?’ I’m pretty sure you have experienced days and nights in the storm. Usually, it is how hard the drops of rain hit us, how harshly the wind blows on our faces, the heavy thunders that sort of manage to convince you that you’re not making it out alive and finally, trying to utilize our limited inner thermal to carry us through it all.

So, initially, you will lament much and curse the situation but the more it recurs because anyways si ni life tu, you get better at it. You get better at being gentle with yourself. The art of catching ourselves is understanding that it is very important that you process what you are feeling however much uncomfortable it gets….. yet, being fast enough to spot when you’re about to experience a downward spiral (it took me a few years to feel it in me when I’m headed for winter) and no the idea is not to entirely avoid the downward spiral.

<Take this in> The idea is to buckle up for the downward spiral to only break free slightly before the ship hits rock-bottom.

You know how we get carried away by a movie scene and we are shouting, ‘ please don’t die yet’ to our favorite character, because somehow we forgot they are the ‘STERO’ of the story and then just before their ship hits rock-bottom they somehow resuscitate? Yes, that’s it.

So, what happens is that you can really feel it in you because it has happened before. You can easily tell by how dysfunctional you get at taking care of yourself. Skipping meals, eating more than usual, shutting people out, feeling extremely sorry for yourselves. It has happened before, so you have a rough of idea of how bumpy the ride is about to get.

Learning the art of catching yourself is buckling up and allowing yourself to feel everything that is meant to be felt keeping in mind not to miss out on the window of unbuckling to find your way up again.

It means that you are gentle enough with yourself to feel everything that needs to be felt before it gets dark, balancing your emotions to know when its very necessary to start climbing up again. The ‘when’ is always the hardest bit but it gets easier with every spiral, just keep an open mind and learn to forgive yourself when you don’t manage to catch yourself on time.

Have I missed to catch myself before? Yep, a couple of times. I was mad silly at myself until I realized no one has done this thing called life before. We are all learning on the job. The idea is to keep tabs on your patterns to know when exactly you need to catch yourself.

Haha I’m resuscitated by the simplest of things. This past weekend was sort of heavy for me, so I decided to catch myself on time by making a few entries into my gratitude journal, taking time to make a complex meal for myself (an engaging recipe sort of makes me focus on the present) occasional cry breaks here and there and finally an entire playlist of Nyashinski that had me hyping him all the way through to the last song and I’m here today to bring you some Love and Light 🙂

So please go easy on yourselves and catch yourself when you can.

Keep safe, sanitize, & social distance if you can. Love you much.

Allow me to plug you in (Hacks for your solo-stay)

I still do not get why I’m struggling to live by myself yet its something that I did so comfortably earlier on…. I couldn’t stand some of that ‘ Me time’ interruptions and here I am craving for some yet can’t quite have it. Well, some of us are going through the same and I’ve sort of just come up with a few things that help me enjoy my company better without it feeling so monotonous. Like, have you had enough internet for the day? Netflix? or YouTube channels? Literal boredom!!

So here are some ways that I keep myself entertained and self-engrossed….. I could be a low-key weirdo but wharevs haha…My rule of thumb for all these is that I have to be present wholly. That’s how I find fun in it.

Basic Morning Routine– I have three things that I do every morning back to back. The aim is to just kick-start my morning from sort of the sluggish mood to an okay/performing frequency. I make my bed, take a shower and have breakfast then everything else that I have planned including lazying around at some point follows. I figured with my anxiety, its much better to keep myself in the present which equates to being active. It could range from productive stuff to absolute nonzenz btw haha!

De-CLuttering– I know you read this and probably rolled your eyes because it sounds like too much work. It actually is….. You know how smart people tell us when a task is hard we try to break it down to small and doable parts….. I do that. This week I de-cluttered my ‘ bottom wardrobe essentials’ the pants, skirts and shorts. Haha its a lazy approach but I mean the aim is to feel the tinny bit of productive. Plus also, I used to be a spendthrift with clothes and shoes so I have a whole lot. I think its a good enough effort.

Karaoke and Dance– Well, this is a thing that I just started doing on thurs/fridays especially slightly before the Djs or artists that I love start their insta-thing. Yes, I know, I’m weird but this is the only way for now. Funny thing is that, I’m still balancing between Karaoeke and getting turnt. One minute I’m singing my lungs out to Beyonce the next is shaku shaku’n my soul away.

Zumba– I stumbled on a few zumba downloads on my laptop from years ago…… I don’t want to sound like a zumba expert but its a nice way to jam, exercise and be present. (I doubt if its enough exercise because right after I eat but oh well!)

Play dress up– This is definitely for the ladies. I don’t really plan for it. Its a thing that occasionally hits girls when they’re idle or when they’re excited about an upcoming date. It is sort of fun and a good way to remind yourself that you still got it. But sis, when you see the mess after, you swear to never do it again and then you do. Its a cycle! Best believe, I have picked out like four outfits for my next girls night out even when I know my priority will have changed by then. Lol. I call it hope.

Mini-shoot– Well, if you are sort of obsessed a little about yourself or need to reconnect with your fun side on the camera this is it. Plus, unashtua TL kidogo once in a while watu wajue bado there is a ‘Muhiki’…. I often pair this with my dress up game so that I can just clean up after that mess one time. Ain’ nobody got time to do it twice sis! Btw, if you think this is nonzenz, it helped me sana when I had esteem issues with my weight. P.s. I do it all on my phone so don’t break your bank! oh! Also, don’t forget to create a feel good playlist for this!

Rearranging your space- It sounds like its too much but the aim is just to make that monotonous space feel new. It will give you something to look forward to. Like walking into the bedroom and realizing, I didn’t know that the dresser would look as good on the left… oh and the mirror is better positioned now… and the table cloth has a new spot now hahaha such….lol you know what? I’m trying to figure out if I can play around with the ceiling as well 🙂 because we have time!

DIYs– On a serious note though, I do this along with my previous point. Pinterest your soul away to fun DIYs. It could range from giving your mwiko an african touch to making abstract art. Just anything that excites your soul. Also binge on homely hacks. It’s the little things.

Fix it– You see that lampshade that you’ve held on for years? Not wanting to give away because you’re certain you’ll fix it at some point…… perfect time. Good thing about evolution is that you have access to lots of tutorials. Give it a try.

Trying out new recipes– I want to just put it out there….. you enjoy trying out new recipes if you’re wholly present. So pick ones that excite your inner child foodie. Otherwise, utakuwa unaona hiyo packet ya unga ya ugali unaskia kulia. I try to reward myself with one try every week. Ideally, during the weekend so I have something to look forward to. You could do it on a daily if you are not as lazy.

Netflix and chill- I didn’t put it up there because some of us are even running out of stuff to watch….. just don’t let it get you to watch the conspiracy theories too much. Those things sort of feed your anxiety sometimes or not!

Virtual gaming/party/call / anything social– I didn’t quite look up the options available for this but there are pretty interesting apps that will have you enjoy and play catch up with friends.

Aptitude tests- I can’t believe I’ve been idle enough to find aptitude tests fun. But it is a thing. I do it on Wednesdays. I also sort of made dinner interesting on this day as a reward for you know putting in the mental work instead of being a couch potato. Could be any other tests too. Whatever works for you.

Read through that magazine clutter– I collect magazines sometimes. Often, to give my book section some edge when you look at it or create backdrops for a mini-shoot or content creation. Problem is, they end up sitting pretty and I never get to read them. Yes, a whole writer. KPLC decided to ‘anua’ stima the last two days and I admit, I have a beautiful collection of local magazines and newsletter. ‘Nomad’ hotlist of properties of the year topped my list. It made me want to travel and explore. You could also find beautiful pieces to frame on your wall in there!

Be a couch potato- Every once in a while, its allowed. Also, now I think is the perfect time to overdo it without feeling guilty.

Sample new creatives– I feel like this is best if there’s a skill that you are looking to nurture. Say, you are into photography, set a day for that… just a few hours or minutes to just explore. It not only helps you to learn something new but that is you telling the universe, ‘This is the kind of space I want to be in’…. manifestation is a thing.

Talking to myself– I think if you asked my neighbor if I have a roomie, she’d say yes. I talk to myself, a lot. I even crack myself up with little jokes like a mad person. Wait, until you find me asking the spoon, ‘Sasa umeanguka ukido?’ lol, I could use a pet btw. For real though, I have started out a podcast, maybe you could listen to my little musings here. Asante.

What are some of your solo hacks to enjoying your company more? I’d love to hear from you…. Love and Light, always, Nelly.

Take a walk with me….

I still chuckle at the thought that I do not remember much of it. Childhood. Could be because I didn’t stay long enough to establish connections or maybe I wasn’t much of a social kid back in the day.

See, I went to boarding school at a pretty young age. ( well, I tend to think there’s boarding school and there’s a catholic system of schools… the latter is quite something…that is where I was at ). I think it was an easy way for my parents to Juggle stuff and I truly do not hold anything against them. So, as little as we were, off we went. I was in class four… that is around 9 years? if not, please forgive my occasional ignorance in the mazematics world.

There was the good and the bad. You know its easier when a family member or relative projects their insecurities and often unwanted emotions because you get to stay long enough to understand where the projections are stemming from….

But when a teacher or non-staff whom you barely know much of, projects sort of mixed emotions with every sunrise for a nine year old its quite a lot….. my grown self understands them better now because adulting can be quite something. But what I never let go is the bullies. Gaah!! I still remember mine by name…. Joyce, I hope you’ve sort of made peace with every kid you set up and bullied to get on the Management’s good side.

…..And so we learned to survive and sort of leaned towards what worked and hoped that it won’t last forever. Now, looking back, I feel like we were indirectly trained to make connections not because we wanted to but rather for survival. well, we did make a few genuine friends but it still is awkward when someone walks towards you in public with so much enthusiasm, calling you by name only for you to give them a blank stare because you can’t quite remember them. ….. and I honestly think its okay. We forget sometimes.

So, I have slowly learnt to forgive the part of me that doesn’t remember what childhood was like. But on the brighter side, I sort of started out early to learn about identity. My parents made it easy for me to. They gave it their best and here I am.

…… And although that exposure meant that some days I would wear my big girl pants to fix what needed to be fixed, I still enjoyed the idea of individuality. Now that I’m all grown, it sort of easier to put the puzzle together.

Well, sometimes it gets a bit rough and I sort of throw in the towel, flip the table over and of course my half-complete puzzle is no more. But, it has sort of nurtured my patience to start all over again; I think!

Is it frustrating too start all over? Pretty much, but, there’s a thing about putting together a jigsaw puzzle over and over. You are much more swift because you’ve seen it before and sort of have a clear idea of what the foundation looks like and of course, you are much more gentle with yourself. Calm enough to understand why every piece of the puzzle exists and learning to find solace when there are missing pieces at some point….

….. And to me, that’s the thing about a forgotten childhood, you have to still yourself, be a little patient for every piece to come back home when the time is right for clarity to manifest.

Love and Light, Always, Nelly.

The Process of Moving Along

I remember a few years back, going on an evening stroll with somebody’s son. It was a thing after the long hours on our laptops handling assignments to survive this Nairobi life. Academic Writing. He would often complain, ‘Moh ni nini?’ ‘Haraka ni ya ni nini?’ and he’d laugh at me.

I’d then go ahead and give a polite chuckle and try to slow down to match his speed. But in my defense, I’m a size 3 so sometimes it’s really hard to keep up with these people’s long strides. So, its better when they struggle to catch up with me instead. hahaha. But for real though, I walk fast…… And it only occurred to me after I read Paulo’s book what this son of man meant by ‘Haraka ni ya nini?’

Do you think you rush your walks or take time to enjoy them? I’m such a ‘rusher’, if at all that is correct English. But, I’m transitioning to taking my time during walks. Paulo Coelho in his book ‘The Pilgrimage’ gave it a fancy name, ‘The Speed Exercise’.

In his book, the speed exercise is explained as: “Walk for twenty minutes at half the speed at which you normally walk. Pay attention to the details, people, and surroundings. The best time to do this is after lunch”. “Repeat the exercise for seven days.”

******************************

Paulo is on a pilgrimage that is meant to help him find the sword which symbolized his acceptance into the order of RAM which, he had subsequently failed earlier on. He is given a guide, Petrus to help him through his journey on the grounds that he would obey and listen to him all the time.

A week later, after walking through the Pyrenees, they see a small village slightly ahead. It was pretty cold and the chimney smoke from a distance only made Paulo want to dash down there, get warmed up and enjoy a glass of wine. However, Petrus is quick to stop him. It was time for him to teach Paulo the second RAM practice: The Speed Exercise’.

Petrus went ahead to inquire how the journey through the Pyrenees had been like from the impatient Paulo who gave a brief answer avoiding to prolong the conversation. Petrus replied, ‘It must have been nice because it took us six days to cover a distance that we would have covered in a day.’

Hahaha, I truly cannot imagine what Paulo’s facial expression was like…. It’s like hiking Ngong Hills for a week, having to sleep in the cold, eating wild fruits only for someone to tell you that it was possible to hike in a day.

Thinking about it, Paulo realized that they had passed through a certain place four to five times approaching it from different angles. Now, it made sense to him why the mountain was sometimes on his right and other times to his left. He was too focused on finding the sword that he didn’t pay attention to the road.

Paulo was a bit furious but Petrus was quick to tell him that it was his responsibility to notice. He quickly points out that the process of moving along did not exist to Paulo as he was too fixated on finding his sword.

‘When you are moving toward an objective, it is very important to pay attention to the road. It is the road that teaches us the best way to get there and the road enriches us as we walk its length.’ Petrus

*******************************

I’ve been really obsessing on the process of Becoming. Thinking about it now, it’s pretty much the same as what Paulo talks about in the book. Some days, we just exist because purely there is something we want achieved at the end of the day, week, month or year.

……And when we fail to achieve what we intended to and curse that life is unfair then, there is nothing to find comfort in when we didn’t pay much attention to the road. Maybe if we did pay attention to the road, we’d have probably gotten a better route that would have stopped us from failing.

This small piece was a polite reminder for you and myself to not only keep Moving but most importantly, not miss out the gems along the way simply because you wanted to reach the destination so badly. Enjoy the journey.

*******************************

Love and Light, Always, Nelly.

We do it for the Culture

Howdy my people? Have you checked the date today? Hahahaha, Yes, we do it for the culture and so I purposed to just sit down on my desk purely to send you good vibes.. If you are probably wondering what this is about, I happen to be from the house of Taurus and then coincidentally, I love numbers and I sort of found 04/04/2020 intriguing and very fine.

Anyways, in my books, ‘We do it for the Culture’ is a mini series of small notes that I write to myself when I’m in a happy place. I then, keep and read them when I feel like my soul needs some uplifting. And so I decided to write down my random thoughts at this very moment for you. The aim is to just get you out of your head for a minute or so.

I woke up today and made a very short honest prayer. I wanted to experience life in a clear space away from all the paranoia of trying to figure out if my body is feeling right every now and then. God knows it has been driving me crazy. Who knew I could enjoy hydrating this much… Over 5 glasses of hot lemon water every time I feel like my throat is flexing funny. It’s crazy hahaha.

Also, in this pandemic, as a single woman…. I have laughed my ass out silly at the number of black kings that now have time. Time to make you that fine ugali, pork and some nice steamed veggies on the side. Time to text back. Time to be just all over asking for hangouts. Bruh, stay home; the streets will need this type of wilding out after the Covid. We love us a good clown but after the Rona. Please; Thank you.

I have been a freelancer for the longest time and the one lesson that all these chaos brought home, is the need to have a routine. Especially for people living alone. It is very possible to lose it, if all you do is scroll the media. So after all those days of just whining how this virus has disoriented us, I will sit down and come up with a routine to just ease my way out of the coming days. How are you easing your way out of this?

oh oh!! I just remembered that I made some mandazis yester-night. And in all honesty, the relationship I’ve had with the prepping process for over twenty something years of existence is pretty much dead. They turned out crispy af. So it was sort of a crispy naan bread which ended up being a movie snack instead. I’ll try again today. What recipes are you using to perfect your skills out of this quarantine? Check out Munah Jane. She has been my recipe plug. She’s even doing these samosa pockets….. ah anyway visit her page, because I could talk about her food all day.

Mmh! What else? Music has always been a beautiful escape. What has been on my playlist…. A lot of Kwaye, Teyana Taylor, Monski254, Sampa the Great. Also, my neighbors are about to eat me whole for every time I play Suzzana and El Shaddai haha…..

I also revisited pieces of Mufasa Poet on youtube. I’ve been curious if I can actually perform poetry pieces. That translates to lots of time in front of my mirror which often ends up as some short dancing session for the JeJe song by Diamond. That chic has some fire moves.

A few podcasts here and there…Carlo Confidential, Legally Clueless, Therapy for black girls and Oprah’s Master Class. Well, that sounds like I do the most huh? lol I’m a couch potato guys. Send help. What’s on your playlist?

I think that’s all for today guys… I’m about to go make some crespes because the eating and sleeping patterns are messed up but we keep keeping on. But feel free to chapia me some storo through this 04/04/2020. Today we boycott the anxiety.

I’ll be here. Sending you Love and Light, Always, Nelly.